Sry it's been so long...can't figure out how to fix my site so that I can get into it anymore!!! Might have to make a new site, but I'll find a way to post a link!!! This is my last update until probably next Sunday....God bless y'all!!! exx-oh-exx-oh, && I luhv yooh!!! <3

~ Crysten <3

...and so i sit here with a notebook and pen, by the light of my iPOD, trying to find a way to combine words for an explination of what I'm feeling...but the longer I sit, as the night turns to morning, I realize that not even words can understand how I feel, and I try to recall a time in my life where I've felt less alone, only to conclude in my sadness that there is no such time </3

After fighting it for so long, one night she {finally} locked herself in her room, listening to their song {over} and {over}, at last allowing the long awaited tears to stream down her cheaks in yet another lost battle

&& it's sad to watch her flirt in front of him, thinking that she actually has something left to prove

I sit down at my desk once again, and begin writing a letter. A letter to the one guy whom I fear will always have my heart. The emotions that I've kept bottled inside of me for so long are finally allowed to be spilled onto the tear-stained paper. Sentance after sentance, line after line, every unspoken word is brought to the light. Part of my heart keeps telling me that the more I write, the more he'll realize how much he needs me as well...but then, as reliable as the sun each morning, part of my mind tells me that no matter how many words I scribble, they will never be anything more then only words to him. Simply combinations of letters in a foolish attempt to retrieve what I never should have lost. so, after sealing the envelope, I open the drawer and place it inside, along with all of my other pointless attempts to say one and one thing only - I'm lost without you. - But until one say I find the courage to give him one of these letters, here I will sit, living in the past day after day, dreaming of a better tomarrow that is likely to never come </3

&& I swear that I can still hear his voice, whispering softly everything that I'd always wanted to hear

    

        

    

    

    

  

    

Currently Listening A Fever You Can't Sweat Out By Panic! At the Disco Time to Dance see related

Kay everyone, I'm wingin' it...randomly typing whatever comes into my head!!! lol

exx-oh-exx-oh, infanite love!!

~ Me <3

&& I know that I could be happy with him...so why don't I let myself?

I've been pretending for so long...so what happens when I just can't fake it anymore?

*** & I can't stop the rain from fallin, I'm drownin in these tears I cry, since you left without a warnin, I face the dawn with sleepless eyes....No, I can't go on, when clouds are pushin down on me boy, I can't stop, I can't stop the rain...from falling </3***

Maybe someday I can look back on this and smile...but for now, all I think that I'll ever be able to do is sit here and cry </3

&& just when I thought that I'd forgotten how to smile, he looked at me...

&& simply hearing the sound of his voice makes all the bad go away, even if it's only for a little while

as the rain pours down on the rooftop, i stare out my window and watch the tiny drops landing on the flowers...and I remember that even the simplest things in life can be the most beautiful, if you just take the time to look at them

and you know when you're in love when the sweet memory of his voice whispering "i love you" keeps you awake for hours, with no intention of ever falling asleep

and when he said that he thought of me everytime it rained, it made me wonder if maybe, just maybe i could have at last found someone who actually loved me for me

Okay everyone, so here's the deal. There's this "ActiveX Control" thing that obviously keeps popping up on this site, and at my computer at home, it freezes when it gets to that point...so I can't update unless I'm not on my own computer!!! URGHH!!!! lol...so, please, if you read this and know how to fix it, then I"m begging you to please please PLEASE comment me and tell me how to fix it, or e-mail me, whatever...I just really need to be able to update. I'm very excited about the new quotes that I've wrriten, and I'm anxious to get them up (as well as some cute new icons!) but I CANNOT UPDATE until this problem is fixed. Thanks so much, and please continue commenting, even though I haven't been able to truly update since before spring break, && I'm sooooo sorry!!! I might try to think of some quotes tonight so I can put them up tomarrow before I go back home, but no promises!!! Once again, thanx sooo much. Infanite exx's && oh's!!! :)

God bless y'all,

~ Crysten <3

p.s....that guy who typed that thing that you girls went crazy over (lol), umm, yeah I really like him, and I'm thinking this could be the start of something good...don't you agree??? lol

&& I'm sorry that I've used most of these icons before!!! </3

Currently Listening As Time Goes By...The Great American Songbook: Volume II By Rod Stewart Smile (&& I <3 this song...it describes how I feel sometimes) see related

Hey everyone! Sorry that it's been so long since my last update. I've been writing some new quotes, but I need a few more to make a good sized entry. Please continue to leave me comments about previous entries. Have a very happy Easter!!! I'll be leaving some icons in honor of tomarrow! God bless y'all. Infanite exx-s && oh's....I luhv yoooh all!!!

~ Crysten <3

Currently Listening Everytime We Touch By Cascada Can't Stop The Rain see related

Alright everyone, as promised here is my entry for the next week && a half. Love ya so much..please please PLEASE leave me lots of comments. I'll be havin fun in the sun in Gulf Shores, AL this week. Thanks again. God bless y'all, && have an awesome Spring Break!!!! exx-oh-exx-oh

~Crysten <3

&& its like i have everything, yet nothing at the same time </3

I'm not letting the world get the best of me, even if it's the only thing that I accomplish with this failure...

she said he'd never see her cry, like for once, she had the control to hide her feelings...that is until he told her that he knew when she wanted to cry, whether she {did} or {not}, just by the glisten in her eyes, and suddenly, she knew that he'd always see all of her, even if she refused to see all of him </3

I don't cry on the outside very often, but I can only hold it in for so long...

&& they're all telling me to "enjoy this stage of my life", because "you're only this age once", but honestly, I already knew that, and for me, if I only go through this once, then once is enough

Best friends, evil snobs, facial masks, and pink doorknobs

Gel pen notes, homework grades, tiny lockers, homecoming parades

Shopping time, social lives, falling in love with cheesy lines

Gorgeous jocks, freeky geeks, stupid jokes, and spirit weeks

Fun school moments, sad love tears, cherish the memories all through the years

&& maybe someday, the fact that he loves me at all will simply be enough

Have you ever {noticed} that "tear" and "tear" are spelled the same? Maybe it's because when you've finally had {enough}, and your heart is "torn", you finally allow yourself to shed a "tear", even if it's only one.

&& it's the previously broken hearts that make being in love so beautiful

nowdays, for me, dissapointment is just another part of everyday life </3

I thought that maybe this time, you were actually for real, but I guess it was just my foolish teenage heart, playing with my foolish teenage mind, making my foolish teenage eyes spill over one more time.

&& tears are simply glimpses of compassion that you may try to hide from others, but eventaully, they'll see

it's not the knowledge that most lack, but rather the confidence to express it with integrety

live for the days that make you smile, the people that make you feel beautiful, the moments that give you butterflies, and the memories that make you cherish everyday, everyone, and every moment.

footballfreak38925 (10:57:06 PM): if you could see what i see in you, then maybe you would understand

dancerchick56930(10:57:17 PM): theres nothing to see

dancerchick56930(10:57:25 PM): im nothing special

dancerchick56930(10:57:26 PM): lol

dancerchick56930 (10:57:31 PM): im just a normal girl

footballfreak38295 (11:01:36 PM): maybe to yourself, because you live with yourself everyday, but when you barely see this girl, and you only get to talk to her online, you miss her. you dream about holding her and caring for her, wishing that she could live the happiest life with or without you, then you will see what is so great about you. just you laughing could seal my life over. i dont have to have tht one moment where i know what it would feel like to have you love me back. i would like to, but i dont have to. to see you live happy and cherished by your husband would seal me. thats all i need to know, that you're happy, whtever you do thts all. so, thats what im on this earth for - you and you only

^^^hey guys, someone just typed that to me tonight. i thought it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen, so I wanted to share it with you! If you like it, leave a comment please!! By the way, those are not the real screenames of myself and the guy. *

&& in honor of spring break...

As I said earlier, please leave me lots of comments...please!!! I appriciate all of my subscribers, but love more comments. Please && thank you!!! <3